Things to do if your partner is cheating on you
It is the last thing that anyone should like to do. How does someone trick you? You want to kick, kick, maybe smash things or smash their heads for even getting the guts. But hey, CALM DOWN. You need to be careful enough to process your thoughts and actions and know the best steps to do that can benefit you both now and in the future, rather than the other way around. We’ve seen reports of people stabbing their cheating friends, poisoning them, and performing crappy acts. You just don’t want to rock to the rhythm of the law and do something. But just keep calm
2. RUMINATE – To ruminate means to have a feeling. You have to wonder who they cheat with. If you know, you’ve got to think about when they will launch the whole affair. It’s not time-waste. You have to do this to figure out the likely cause of their conduct. Some people cheat on their partner as payback for a shortcoming. People lie for multiple reasons which are in all honesty no excuse. However, you need to think a bit about when this could have begun, and how things were then.
3. TAKE A BREAK – This is not the time for confrontation, because fighting would just escalate the anger, which may potentially lead to fisticuffs. So, take a break by leaving their premises if they are around, or pause to respond to their calls and texts. You have to pause in the knowledge that they just lost your trust.
4. HAVE A CONVERSATION – Conversing is far from confrontational. A confrontation may cause them to deny, or even own, without having to think about how you feel. So, do have an honest chat with them instead. Tell them how they are doing, make them feel relaxed. Tell them you would like them to point out the potholes in the relationship and from there introduce them to your new perspective. Here the trick is to be as cautious as possible and let them express themselves completely. No matter how aggressive and upsetting they can are, remain calm throughout and make sure you leave peacefully.
5. Get some exercise
The easiest way to relax your mind is to get your body going. “Action will help you calm down and help you work through stressful emotions, and physical activity can help alleviate cortisol, the stress-producing hormone, and trigger endorphins, the body’s feel-good hormone.
6. Don’t use this time to blame yourself
Although it may not seem like it right now, and although your partner might even try to blame you for his or her poor behavior, it’s not your fault to note that. That’s their preference. “To want to blame others for the things they’ve done they ‘re ashamed of is human nature,” Martinez explained. “We always tend automatically to blame another person for their acts, which helps them deal with the reality that they’re not as horrible as they believe they ‘re at this moment.” It’s a natural, but shameful, reflex to blame the other individual for the choices they’ve made knowingly, but don’t let them lay that at your feet. If you had problems there were a lot of other ways they could have worked out things.
7. Make an appointment with your doctor
To get STIs checked, set up an appointment if you have a doctor that you see regularly. “If your partner has been sexual with someone else, you can not be confident that he or she has used protection and you certainly do not know what kind of illnesses or infections the person with whom they were sexually active may have,” Michael warned. “The most important thing is your health, and the worry that comes with it, so be proactive right away and check things out
8. Own your mistakes
“This may require a couple of therapists or clinical sexologist to help, but it’s important that you look at the part you’ve played, whether conscious or not,” Six said. “This will help you set up your next relationship for success.” Did you make your partner feel much wrong? Have you shunned sex? Knowing and owning up to your part is far more empowering than simply focusing on the fact that this happened to you. “While it is possible that you haven’t done anything to encourage your partner to cheat on you, you want to figure this out from an unbiased opinion, not from a friend who just says things to make you feel better,” she added.
9. TAKE A DECISION – At this point, you can either leave the relationship or stay there and fix it. Leave if they are defensive, don’t mind, don’t feel sorry, don’t want the other person to change or let go. You can stay if they are very sorry, sober, ready to improve and let the other person go as well as a promise never again to commit that behavior. People make drastic choices as just like that letting go of a cheating partner without having an honest talk. People who cheat may just be genuinely good and they change for the better and make great partners when they take the above steps. But you should let go immediately of a person who’s unyielding and unshakeable