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How to Let Go of Someone

Letting go of someone is never easy, especially if this person played a large and meaningful role in your life. You may still care deeply about an ex and just can’t seem to get them out of your mind, or you may feel deeply wronged by a past partner and are unable to let go of all the hurt and pain that he or she caused. No matter the circumstances, when it comes to letting go, there are five essential steps that you can take to move forward with your life and finally unburden yourself from this person’s long-lasting impact

1. Make Peace With What Happened Between the Two of You

Letting go of someone means facing and accepting the reality of what transpired between the two of you, no matter how hard or challenging that may seem. Whether this person broke your heart, betrayed your trust, or simply wasn’t right for you in the end, letting go means admitting the truth to yourself regarding your relationship with this person.

 

You may still need time to grieve the loss of this person or mourn their absence from your life. But rather than suppressing these feelings or denying that you’re hurting inside, a key step in letting go means experiencing the whirlwind of emotions caused by this person and working your way out to the other side. If you want to let go of someone, you have to let yourself go through the process of dealing with what happened between the two of you and accepting the truth of how things are now.

2. Don’t Look at Their Social Media

How often do you check this person’s Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter? A crucial part of letting go of someone means that you have to remove this person from your life—even digitally. By continuing to follow this person on social media and constantly checking to see what they’re up to, you’re still letting this person influence your behavior and keep a lingering presence in your daily life. In many cases, the posts, pictures, and tweets will only leave you feeling sad or upset and cause you even more pain. If you want to move on, you have to stop letting this person maintain a lasting impact on you and take the lead on unfollowing them.

3. Look for Ways to Improve Your Own Life

If you decide to let someone go, think of it as the perfect opportunity to let something else into your life, whatever that may be. Rather than spending your time thinking about this person and replaying every conversation, shift your focus to something more productive. For instance, rather than being weighed down by the fact that this person broke up with you, why not lift weights at the gym and break a personal record? By taking the energy that you were going to spend mulling over this person and redirecting it toward something truly beneficial and worthwhile, you’re able to let go by saying hello to something far more positive.

4. Recognize That You’re Not Alone

When you’re trying to let go of someone, it’s not uncommon to feel an overwhelming sense of loneliness and isolation. However, by reaching out to friends, family, or a trained professional, you can overcome these kinds of feelings not only through the sheer presence of others around you, but also through their unwavering support, guidance, and advice. Not only can those around you offer words of wisdom as well as a shoulder to cry on, but they may also, in fact, have their own stories of letting go and moving on that can help you recognize that your experience is more common than you think and that you will get through this. By surrounding yourself with positive people who have your back, you’re taking a real step forward in letting go for good.

 

5. Have High Hopes for the Future

Despite how challenging it may seem, resolve to never give up on finding new love in the future. While your ex may have disappointed you, hurt you, or left you brokenhearted, it’s especially imperative in times like these to remember how strong you are. Letting go of someone is an act of real courage and strength, as you’re proving to yourself that there’s someone else out there who’s more worthy of your love, affection, and attention. When you recognize that you deserve better, you’re opening yourself up to the possibility of falling in love again and making space in your heart for another person. The very act of letting go means that you’ll be ready to let someone else into your life in the future.

If you are the one who made the choice to leave the marriage, it is important to remember the love you once felt for your spouse. Although you feel the marriage is over, strive to transition from married to single with compassion for the one you are leaving behind. Any transition is easier to make if it is done with kindness and love.

 

If you are the spouse who has been left, letting go with love will be more of a challenge. It is okay to feel anger and resentment, but don’t hold those feelings indefinitely. If you need to set boundaries and exert your rights during the divorce process, do so kindly and gently. It may seem impossible to show love toward someone who is, for instance, victimizing you through the family court system.

There will be times when you need to be proactive and assertive to ensure you are treated with respect. Regardless of your role in the divorce, the Golden Rule is always apt: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Keep this idea in mind throughout the emotional and legal process of divorce, and you may notice fewer conflicts and a higher sense of self-respect

The key to being able to use anger productively depends on how we react to it. A healthy way to react to anger is to become assertive; however, it is unhealthy to become aggressive.

 

Being assertive means you are able to prioritize your needs and meet them without hurting others. These needs are events within your control; you cannot change anyone else’s mind but you can control your own future. You don’t have any control over whether or not your spouse leaves the marriage but you do have control over other issues such as how you will be treated by prospective suitors in the future, how marital assets will be split, and what your co-parenting relationship with your ex will be like.

 

Aggressive anger becomes pushy and demanding with no regard for the feelings of the other person. It will make you feel stuck, while assertive anger helps you to move forward with your life after divorce. If you use your anger to punish or get back at your ex, you will be the one to suffer in the end. If you use your anger to make sure you are taken care of emotionally and legally during the process of divorce, you will reap the rewards of behaving in a healthy manner.

 

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20 Comments

  1. Reply

    Good

  2. Reply

    Letting go of someone is abit difficult…most especially when you have share soulmate together

  3. Reply

    this is a good post. nice

  4. Reply

    Awesome

  5. Reply

    Awesome write up

  6. Reply

    Nice write up

  7. Reply

    That’s good

  8. Reply

    Entertaining indeed

  9. Reply

    Relationship advice is the best for teen

  10. Reply

    Great article

  11. Reply

    Good

  12. Profile photo ofItz Kvng Twitch

    Reply

    Very interesting

  13. Profile photo ofChukwucee

    Reply

    Resourceful information

  14. Reply

    Good post

  15. Profile photo ofSIRMUSTY

    Reply

    not easy ooo

  16. Profile photo ofKreator

    Reply

    nice article

  17. Reply

    Good post

  18. Reply

    Amazing

  19. Reply

    Good to know

  20. Reply

    Very good
    Thanks for sharing

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